The Bitch is back!: April 2013

Call Center Comedy Batch 1

Call Center Bloopers 4/25/2013 12:19:00 PM

Image courtesy of http://callboyscallgirls.darkbb.com/t24-call-center-bloopers

I spent several years in the BPO industry as a Quality Assurance Officer, listening to calls and grading a representative’s performance. Through constant monitoring and coaching, we ensure that standards and guidelines set by clients are met. The job requires a great deal of patience, and more often than not we go home exhausted. However, this post has its own perks: we get to hear funny slip-ups first hand.

P.S. I understand that nobody is perfect, and I am not mocking people for their mistakes as I too have my own. This is purely intended FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY. If you want to have a good laugh, scroll down and read through.

Call 1: Account Security

Agent: How are you related to the account holder?

Customer: Soul mate.
Agent: Excuse me?!?

Call 2: Channeling The Black Eyed Peas

Agent: Thank you for calling, my name is Pao. How can I help you?

Customer: Sorry, what’s your name again?
Agent: It's Pao. Short for Paolo.
Customer: Say what now?
Agent: My name is Pao… Like… Boom Boom Pao?

Call 3: Redundancy

Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?

Customer: I don’t have internet connection.
Agent: I’m sorry to hear that. Before we start troubleshooting, can I have a good callback number just in case we get disconnected so that I can call you back immediately as soon as possible?
Customer: Uh…

Call 4: Repetition or Redundancy?

(Agent explains the issue but repeats the same details in different words)

Customer: (Irritated) Do you actually know what’s the meaning of redundant?

Agent: Yes Ma’am, Yes Ma’am, Yes Ma’am.

Call 5: Rapport Fail

Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?

Customer: I don’t have internet connection.
Agent: You don't have internet connection… So regarding this one how's your day?
Customer: Are you seriously asking me that question?

Call 6: Signs of lewdness

Agent: Can I have the telephone number you are calling about?

Customer: xxx-xxx-xxxx
Agent: Thank you. May I please know who is on the account holder?
Customer: OMG!!! You’re disgusting!!!

Call 7: Confusing Punctuations

Customer: I can’t find the forward slash symbol. A little help here?
Agent: Forward slash is the question mark on your keyboard.
Customer: Uh…

Call 8: Justified

Agent: I need you to right-click on the open desktop.

Customer: Ok.
Agent: Did you get a dropdown or a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Agent: Ok, let’s do that again. Did you get it now?

Customer: Nope.
Agent: Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer: Sure. You told me to write click, so I wrote click.

Call 9: A case of Amnesia?

Agent: Thank you for calling! My name is Joe, is that correct?

Customer: I don’t know. Are you Joe?

Call 10: Handling irate callers

Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?

Customer: (Irate) I have a problem with my bill AGAIN! It has been like this for three straight months!!!

Agent: I’m sorry to hear that. Let me take a look at your bill.

Customer: Why does it keep on happening?!? This is so frustrating!

Agent: Let me go ahead and double check.

Customer: I’ve heard that about a hundred times! You always double check! Can’t you do anything else besides double check?!?

Agent: Let me triple check!!!

Click HERE to read Part 2 of this series.
Click HERE to read Part 3 of this series.
Click HERE to read Part 4 of this series.
Click HERE to read Part 5 of this series.
Click HERE to read Part 6 of this series.

If you have similar funny stories, feel free to email them to jectofer.ramirez@gmail.com – your contributions will be acknowledged.

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A guide to having a Complete, Basic Makeup Kit

Beauty 4/19/2013 01:10:00 PM

Image courtesy of http://theasianwedding.co.uk/2010/09/30/sbcs-make-up/

As the experts say, makeup is an art comparable to painting. But in reality, a lot of people still find cosmetics challenging despite the countless tips, DIYs, video tutorials, and other forms of help available in print and online.

If you’ve been dying to practice but don’t know where to start, and if you’ve been itching to dabble on makeup items but don’t know which one to buy, here’s a guide on what a basic kit should have:

Moisturizer

Moisturizing should always be the first step as it’s essential in keeping the skin hydrated and protected from chemicals.

Foundation

The trick in finding a shade close to your actual skin tone is when the product almost disappears when applied on the jaw area, carefully blending upward just below the cheeks and downward just above the neck. For starters, apply the foundation to the inner side of the arms (where skin complexion is lighter).

Two way cake, mineral powder, cream, mousse, or liquid – your choice. Just remember to pick something you’d be comfortable wearing.

Final/Finishing Powder

Loose or compact, applying a finishing powder will set the foundation and keep it intact. Think: less touch-ups needed.

Concealer

When used together with a foundation, concealers will make the skin appear uniform in color. It will also mask dark circles and blemishes on the skin. While skin-toned concealers are the most common type, colored concealers can also be used and applied sparingly beneath the base: white will blur dark circles or bruising and will brighten dull skin, Green or Blue will counteract red patches such as pimples or broken veins, and purple will help a sickly complexion look brighter.

Eyeshadow

For starters, purchasing eyeshadow quads are suggested as it contains complimenting shades. Start with neutral palettes then slowly build up your existing color collection once application techniques are perfected. Tip: using an eyeshadow primer on the lids will prevent creasing and help the color last longer.

Eyeliner

This product creates the illusion of having bigger or smaller eyes depending on how it is used. Mastery of the pencil version is highly recommended before experimenting with the cream or liquid type. To prevent smudging, place the pencil eyeliner’s tip in a glass full of ice or let it cool in the freezer for a few minutes prior to usage. To avoid smearing after application, top it with a translucent powder.

Mascara and Eyelash Curler

Want full flirty eyes? Press and hold the eyelash curler on the base of the lashes for twenty seconds. Repeat the process while moving outward until you reach the tip of your lashes. Swipe one to two coats of mascara and you’re good to go!

Blush

Contour palettes are available on the market for those who want a stronger, edgier look. However, contouring can be difficult without the proper tools. The easiest way to go is looking naturally flushed - simply smile to bring out the apples of the cheeks. Apply the blush and gently swipe and blend upward.

Lipstick/Lip Gloss/Lip Balm

Be it sparkling, matte, or nude, the color of the lips should always complement the eyes - thus it is advised to own at least 3 different shades of lip color that can be mixed and matched depending on your makeup and the occasion. Remember to start with a lip balm as it keeps the lips chap-free and protects it from harmful chemicals. Use a lip gloss on top if necessary.

Brushes

These instruments play a key role in getting the job done. It is often suggested not to rely on those cute and tiny brushes that come with any given cosmetic piece, however choosing the right sweeper may be a tad tricky for the general majority – so watch out for my next blog post, as I will discuss the art of brush selection in depth.

Makeup Remover

At the end of the day, everything must be washed off. This is a crucial step as it helps prevent clogged pores. Thus, a kit will never be complete without a makeup remover. Avoid using wet wipes as it will never get the job done. Read: soap and water WILL NEVER BE enough.

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