Call Center Comedy Batch 4

4/02/2014 11:48:00 AM

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By now you should have known the reason why I post this topic. Just in case you missed the first three, here they are:
Part 1 Click HERE
Part 2 Click HERE
Part 3 Click HERE

P.S. I understand that nobody is perfect, and I am not mocking people for their mistakes as I too have my own. This is purely intended FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY. If you want to have a good laugh, scroll down and read through.

Call 1: Opening Fail
Agent: Thank you for calling! Can I have the name that you are calling about?
Customer: Uh… I don’t think I’m calling about a name.

Call 2: Accessorize much?
(while waiting for the PC to boot)
Customer: So I assume you’re a young lady judging from the sound of your voice. What are you in to these days dear?
Agent: Oh! I’m going crazy over bracelets and earrings right now.
Customer: Oh my. Have you seen the latest line from (brand)?
Agent: Yes! I love their bangling!
Customer: What?
Agent: Their B-A-N-G-L-I-N-G.
Customer: Hmmm. I do not know what that is!
Agent: I’m sorry. I meant Bangles and Dangling Earrings.
Customer: Bwahahahahahhahahaah!

Call 3: Assurance Fail
Customer: Ok. I will do that. Please don’t hang up while I’m checking my telephone jacks. The last two calls I made got disconnected while I was doing this.
Agent: No. I will Sir.
Customer:  Whaaatt? You will?

Call 4: Simple Fail
Agent: May I simply ask for your DSL number so I can simply pull up your account here?
Customer: 1234567890
Agent: It simply shows here that you called two days ago because you simply lost your connection.
Customer: (sarcastically) Oh, is that simple?

Call 5: Sentence Construction Fail
Customer: Is it cold where you’re at right now? It’s freezing over here.
Agent: No. It’s not as cold as you.

Call 6: Sentence Construction Fail
Customer: I’m sick and tired of having internet connection problems!
Agent: I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Let me take a look at it for you.
Customer: I’m sorry, I’m not personally mad at you. It’s just been so frustrating to have this problem over and over again.
Agent: It’s ok, no need to apologize. I understand how frustrating you are.

Call 7: The Great Escape
(Consumer Lines newbie agent answering the call)
Agent: Thank you for calling! My name is Joe. How can I help you?
Customer: Yes hi. I’m calling to upgrade my service.
Agent: I see here that you have a Business Account, not a Consumer Line. Is that right?
Customer: Yes. I’m guessing you’re a consumer lines representative?
Agent: Right.
Customer: Alright, please transfer me to the right person.
Agent: Sure. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Customer: Oh yes before you transfer me, can you tell me what’s the difference of a Business account versus a Consumer Account?
Agent: <gulp> Uhm… Let me just transfer you to billing, they’d be happy to answer that question fo you. <long beep>

Call 8: Phonetics Fail
Customer: Can you spell that for me?
Agent: Sure. It’s G, like Juice. E like…
Customer: Wait what?

Call 9: Affected vs Infected
Agent: Thank you for calling! My name is Joe. How can I help you?
Customer: I lost internet connection after that crazy thunderstorm.
Agent: Oh maybe that’s the cause of the problem.
Customer: Yeah, can you find out?
Agent: Sure. Let me check if you’re infected by an outage.

Call 10: New Office Hours
Agent: Is there anything else I can still help you with?
Customer: That’s it thank you!
Agent: No problem. Thank you for calling, we’re open 24 days, 7 hours a week.
Customer: Huh?!?

Click HERE to read Part 5 of this series.
Click HERE to read Part 6 of this series.

If you have similar funny stories, feel free to email them to – your contributions will be acknowledged.

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