Call Center Comedy Batch 5

2/10/2015 12:45:00 PM

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By now you should know the reason why I post this topic. Just in case you missed the first four, here they are:
Part 1 click HERE
Part 2 click HERE
Part 3 click HERE
Part 4 click HERE

P.S. I understand that nobody is perfect, and I am not mocking people for their mistakes as I too have my own. This is purely intended FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY. If you want to have a good laugh, scroll down and read through. Enjoy!

Call 1: Opening Fail
Agent: Thank you for calling! Can I have the name of the account holder please starting with the area code?
 Customer: You mean my telephone number?
Agent: (chuckles) Right. Your phone number starting with the area code.

Call 2: Mortal Kombat Fanatic
Dispatch Agent: Thank you for calling dispatch this is Hero.
Agent: Hello Zero.
Dispatch Agent: It’s Hero.
Agent: Yes! Zero.
Dispatch Agent: No. It’s Heeeeeero.
Agent: Yeah Zero. Zeeeeeero.
Dispatch Agent: Never mind. Just transfer the caller.

Call 3: Rapport Fail
Agent: So how are you related?
Customer: He’s my husband.
Agent: Ok. So he was your husband.
Customer:  No! He IS my husband! I’m not yet divorced!

Call 4: Too much rapport?
(customer is getting irritated with the agent trying to build rapport)
Agent: Alright, now that we are on screensharing… Oh wait! Wow, is that your daughter in your desktop wallpaper?
Customer: Probably. <Yawn>

Call 5: Louder vs Longer
Agent: Thank you for calling! How can I help you?
Customer: (speaking softly) I have no internet connection.
Agent: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Can you speak a little longer please?
Customer: Iiiiii hhhhaaaavvvveeee nnnoooooo iiinnnnnnttteeeeeerrrrrnnneeeeettttttttt.

Call 6: Phonetics Fail
Agent: For future reference, you may call 1-800-567-6789.
Customer: What’s the last number?
Agent: Nine.
Customer: Say what now?
Agent: Nine. Like… Ninja?

Call 7: Drinks needed?
(issue resolved, customer trying to understand the cause of the issue)
Customer: Wow that’s the fastest troubleshooting I’ve ever done. So what do you think happened there? Why did I lose my connection?
Agent: It’s a temporary signal fall out. Remember to turn off your modem for about a minute if that happens again. That resets the signal.
Customer: Oh alright.
Agent: So you see, just like humans, your modem needs refreshments from time to time.

Call 8: Appropriate Response Fail
Agent: Thank you for calling! How can I help you?
Customer: Hello! I  have no internet connection, and my phone has terrible static. Can you hear me?
Agent: Yes ma’am. How about you?
Customer: Uh... Yes?

Call 9: (from Elmer Cabigting)
Customer: I don’t understand my bill. Can you help me out?
Agent: Sure. As I see here…
(bill doesn't load on agent's tool)
Customer: Yes?
Agent: I don’t see anything…

Call 10: (from Nikki Reyes)
Agent: Is there anything else I can still help you with?
Customer: That’s it thank you!
Agent: No problem. Thank you for calling, you have a nice name!
Customer: Uh… Thanks? I guess?
Agent: I meant you have a nice day.
Customer: ...

Click HERE to read Part 6 of this series.

If you have similar funny stories, feel free to email them to – your contributions will be acknowledged.

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