Call Center Comedy Batch 2

7/24/2013 11:58:00 AM

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I spent several years in the BPO industry as a Quality Assurance Officer, listening to calls and grading a representative’s performance. Through constant monitoring and coaching, we ensure that standards and guidelines set by clients are met. The job requires a great deal of patience, and more often than not we go home exhausted. However, this position has its own perks: we get to hear funny slip-ups first hand. If you haven’t read part 1, click here.

P.S. I understand that nobody is perfect, and I am not mocking people for their mistakes as I too have my own. This is purely intended FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY. If you want to have a good laugh, scroll down and read through.

Call 1: Active Listening Fail
Customer: Should I erase the http? Or just the www?
Agent: Gotcha!

Call 2: Animal Sounds 101
Agent: Do you have a cat?
Customer: Yes! I have three.
Agent: Wow! Does your cat meow?

Call 3: Paraphrasing Fail
Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?
Customer: I’m supposed to get my service on the 19th but now I’m being told by someone from the order status group that it’s going to be connected on a much later date! I need internet because school starts on the 16th!
Agent: I’m sorry to hear that. That was the representative told her about regarding the previous... I mean the previous customer agent... I mean the previous representative told or... Told... Yeah... That you will be having the service on 19th right?
Customer: What?

Call 4: Confidence Fail
Agent: What is the model of your modem? Is it XP, Vista, 7, or MAC?
Customer: You mean my computer?
Agent: No. I need to know the operating system of your modem.
Customer: I think you’re not asking the right question.
Agent: Sir, I’m one of the best technical support agents here. I know what I’m doing.
Customer: Really?
Agent: Yes! If you can just give me the operating system of your M-O… I’m sorry, it’s been a long day. I meant your computer’s operating system.
Customer: Told you that’s what you wanted.

Call 5: Distant Future
Customer: Can you send me easy steps I can take before I call you guys?
Agent: Sure! I will send you troubleshooting tips so that this will serve as a future reference in the future.

Call 6: Active is the word
Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?
Customer: I don’t have internet connection and my telephone doesn’t have a dial tone. Is my service still on?
Agent: The service is still ongoing on.

Call 7: Counter Clockwise
Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?
Customer: I don’t have internet connection. But I cannot stay long on the phone to troubleshoot this problem.
Agent: Oh no worries, troubleshooting usually takes around 15 to 10 minutes.
Customer: Huh?

Call 8: Addition
Agent: I just need to research a bit on the issue. Can I put you on hold for two to three to three minutes?
Customer: Does that make it a total of six minutes?

Call 9: Sexual Harassment
Agent: Thanks for waiting. I was able to hold one of our specialists. I will transfer you now.
Customer: Ok. I will tell that person to sue you for sexual harassment.

Call 10: To eat? To sleep? To work?
(Agent feels sleepy and hungry while on the call)
Agent: Thank you for calling, how can I help you?
Customer: I don’t have internet connection.
Agent: I’m zzzorry to hear that. Let’s see what the problem izzz. Can you tell me the modem’s…
Customer: What?
Agent: The modemzzz…
Customer: The modem’s what?
Customer: Hello? The modem’s what?
Agent: Lumpia.
Customer: ...

Read Part 3 HERE.
Read Part 4 HERE.
Read Part 5 HERE.
Read Part 6 HERE.

If you have similar funny stories, feel free to email them to – your contributions will be acknowledged.

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